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TEXT_159.txt
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1995-01-29
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938b
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How can you be sure you look like a tourist when in Hawai'i?
√ No matter how hot it is, always wear black shoes with black socks when you wear shorts. And always have your shirt tucked in.
√ Always call the mainland the “States,” and then try and figure out which country Hawai'i is in.
√ Rent a convertible, drive it very slowly, and always look everywhere except at the road.
√ Speak Spanish when you don’t understand the local dialect.
√ Mispronounce all the Hawaiian words, then give up, thinking they all sound the same anyway.
√ While at the north shore of any island in the middle of summer, stop and ask where the big winter waves are.
√ Before drinking from a water fountain, ask if the water should be boiled first.
√ When windsurfing in the middle of summer, when the water is well over 85 degrees, always wear a full-length wetsuit and hood.
√ Above all, have fun!
Aloha!